new funny sms: 2011

Why were males created before females?

Why were males created before females?

Because you alwas need
a rough draft before the final copy.

Give me a pocket full of money

Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p

I will buy banana, u keep the peel

Customer : How much is that banana for?

Salesperson : Rs.10

Customer : Can you sell it to me for Rs.6?

Salesperson : At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer : Okay I will buy the banana for Rs.4 , but you can keep the peel!

Qualities a friend must have

Qualities a friend must have:
Cute as crocodile.
Smart as donkey.
Active as turtle.
Fit as hippo.
Matured as monkey.
Sincerity like dog.
No doubt you are my good friend

Prove that u're the Best TubeLight !!

A Smile costs less than Electricity.
But.....
Gives more light !!
So Always Keep Smiling..... &
Prove that u're the Best TubeLight !!

Check returned back

Doc 2 Patient :
The check which u gave me has returned back.

Patient 2 Doc:The head-ache for which
you gave me medicine has also returned back.

If dentists make films, the names will be

If dentists make films,?the names will be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)

if your father earned $100,000

Teacher: Johny,
if your father earned $100,000
and gave half of it to your mother,
what would she have?

Little johny: A heart a attack!

3 new girl friends.

Maths teacher asked JOHNY
"If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied "Sir! 3 new girl friends".

In heaven together we were in a big hall

In heaven together we were in a big hall.
An Angel told us to write our sins before going in,
but before l could start writing any thing
l heard you caling for ''EXTRA SHEET''.

Be a millionare within few months

Repeat these lines at least 2 hours
everyday after Namaz outside the mosque
& u will b a millionare within few Months.
"Allah k naam par dey de baba"

No 1 will touch ur mom

A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.

He replied:
"So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom"

Don't kill the students

A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus

He wrote:-

"Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the students,
wait for the Teachers"

A pakistani man goes for fishing

A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can't as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
"Pakistan Zindabad"

Jayengay car main, aayengay akhbar main

Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.

Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!

Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein‚!!

Life is like a MOVIE...

Life is like a MOVIE...
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u look at the mirror - HORROR

1 bhoot dosray ko samjha raha tha

Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha:
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai,
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.

Never kiss a police woman

Never kiss a police woman.
she ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ll repeat it 10 times.

I Can SEE 'TEA' in A TEA-CUP

I Can SEE 'TEA' in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?

I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?

TRY ALL THIS........ ....
Atleast DO the LAST ONE.

The brain is a wonderful organ

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
up and does not stop until u get into the office...

A Memon on his death time

A Memon on his death time.

My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I'm here

My sons & daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa

Memon:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D

Just think about me

Think Big.
Think Positive.
Think Smart.
Think Beautiful.
Think Great.
I know, that is too much for u,
so here is a shortcut.
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!

A pathan said to his friend

A pathan said to his friend:
"mujhy smajh nahi aati k log
maheena maheena kaisy nhi nahatay?
Mujhy to 28vein din kharish hona shuru ho jati hai".

Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata

Rule of boys:
“Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata.

Hahaha, I am joking

A
B
C
D

A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME

E
F
G

E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING

H
I
J

H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING

1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya

1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya

Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay

Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt...
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.

In pakistan survey was done

In pakistan survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha

Roses r red .. violts r blue

Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.
:D

Better think before you smile.

1 smile = 1 friendship
1 friendship = 1 love
1 love = 1 proposal
1 proposal = 1 marriage
And 1 marriage = THOUSANDS of problem.
so better think before you smile.

New style of proposing a girl

New style of proposing a girl:
I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love,
&
I don't want my son to do the same 4 your daughter,
So lets make them brother & sister.

What to do when mosquito bites?

At Night If Mosquito Bites,
What Should We Do.?
?
?
?
?
Just Scratch N Sleep Again
We R Not Rajnikant
2 Make The Mosquito Say Sorry.

Clock will never be stolen

Words Written Above A Classroom Clock….
“This Clock Will Never Be Stolen,
Coz Too Many Students Are Watching It..!

Answer to "Who said to sell pepsi for Rs.65?"

Do the following !!!
1) go to google translate
2) type in "Who said to sell pepsi for Rs.65?"
3) translate English to Arabic
4) Copy the Arabic version
5) choose translation from Arabic to English
6) and the truth will be unleashed!!!!

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!

Husband was seriously ill

Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife :-
Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
don’t discuss ur problems,
no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home..

Husband :- wat did the doc say ?
Wife :- .No chance for u to survive

Girlfriend's name on hand by knife...crying

A Small Boy Took A Knife
And Wrote His Girlfriend’s Name 0n His Hand..
After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..
Why ???
.
.
.
Paining ???
.
.
.
No !!
.
.
.
Then ???
.
.
.
Spelling Mistake !!! :O

Parrot sits on elephant

Q- a parrots sits on an elephant and the elephant died!!
Prove how is this possible….?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Physics student:
assume that elephant’s name is parrot
&
parrot’s name is elephant:d:p:)
physics can prove anything

Wanted single girl

New Advertisement -

WANTED SINGLE GIRL,
Able To Cook,
Love And Have Job,
Must Have
HOUSE & CAR.
Plz Send Picture 0f
HOUSE & CAR ... =P =D

Tied rakhi to the following boys

2 Guys Were Following 2 Girls
Both Girls Took Rakhi & Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy To Second-What Will We Do Now?

2nd Guy-U Marry My Sis,
I Will Marry Ur Sis

Call a girl pretty or ugly

"Call A Girl Pretty
& She Will Remember It For
5 Minutes..!

Call A Girl Ugly
& She Will Remember It
Forever..!"

Santa in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"

SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"

SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

Girl falling from 80th floor

A girl Fell Down from 80th floor,
A boy caught her on 65th floor and asked her...
will u hug me...?
She replied.., offcourse not...
he dropped her.
...........
she was caught on 30th floor by another boy....
He asked her, will u kiss me..?
no not at all, she replied
he dropped her too..

she prayed for last chance when a boy hold her on 5th floor.
she immediately said...
ok i will hug u and kiss u..
The boy dropped her and saying.

Astagfirullah !!
mera roza hai :P [ I am fasting ]

What is Educati0n ?

What is Educati0n ?

Educati0n is an 0raganised system thr0ugh whch we waste 0ne half 0f our life t0 learn h0w 2 waste the remaning half 0f 0ur life.

Kash koi “exam result”

Kash koi “exam result” ka insurance kara deta,
Toh har exam ka pehle premium bharwa dete,
Pass hote toh thik hai,
Varna insurance claim karva lete…

Special offer....!

Special offer....!

Bring a chit on exam day, scratch and show it to your nearest teacher and win free trip to Principal's office and enjoy 3 years vacation at home.

Hurry offer valid until exams only....

bOy:hey i've gOt

bOy:hey i've gOt 2 wOrds tO say yu!

girl:what?

bOy:I LOVE U

girl:huh- isn't dat 3 wOrds?

bOy:nO! bcOs yu & i are One-

Govenment Bolti hai PANI Bachao,

Govenment Bolti hai PANI Bachao,

Abhishek Bolta hai PAPER Bachao,

Ab Bolo sala Aadmi subah Subah Kya Kare?

Pani Bachaye ya Paper.

Ha Ha Ha Ha :-) .

Us Bewafa ki Yaad Mai

Us Bewafa ki Yaad Mai Jam Hathon Main Utha Liya

Wah Wah

Us Bewafa ki Yaad Mai Jam Hathon Main Utha Liya

.
.
.

Phir Uthaya Bread, Lagaya Jam aur Mand K Kha Liya. :-)

Pata hai is MULK ki problem kya ha?

Pata hai is MULK ki problem kya ha?
Har Maa ko apny beti k liye chaye,

Ek Acha Smart,
Naik,
Educated,
Gud Looking Ladka.

Ab Mai Akela kis kis se shadi karoon?

Newspaper Men Advertisement Aayi Hamare Pas Aisi Product Hai,

Newspaper Men Advertisement Aayi Hamare Pas Aisi Product Hai,

Jisko Pehan Kar Aap Pori Dunya Ko Dekh Sakte Hain,

Magar Aapko Koi Nahi Dekh Sakta.
Price 10,000 + Free Home Delivery

1 Shakhs Ne Ads Parhte Hi 10,000 Rs. Bheje.

Kuch Dino Bad TCS Wala 1 Packet Le Kar Aaya.

Us Shaks Ne Jaldi Jaldi Parsel Khola To Andar Se Ek

"BURQA" Nikla. :-)Newspaper Men Advertisement Aayi Hamare Pas Aisi Product Hai,

Jisko Pehan Kar Aap Pori Dunya Ko Dekh Sakte Hain,

Magar Aapko Koi Nahi Dekh Sakta.
Price 10,000 + Free Home Delivery

1 Shakhs Ne Ads Parhte Hi 10,000 Rs. Bheje.

Kuch Dino Bad TCS Wala 1 Packet Le Kar Aaya.

Us Shaks Ne Jaldi Jaldi Parsel Khola To Andar Se Ek

"BURQA" Nikla. :-)

Girlfriends are like "Gol Gappay" always Tasty.

Girlfriends are like "Gol Gappay" always Tasty.

Lovers are like "Pizzas" Hot n Spicy.

&

Wives are Like "Daal Chawal"

No Other Option, But Good For Health. :-)

Iam Miss Taniya!

Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you!

Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya? Iam Miss Taniya!

Doctor: Oh !! Sorry Miss Taniya...Bad news for you!
:D

Chinese scientist ne

Chinese scientist ne tehkikat k bad ye inkshaf kya ha k
chipkali ko ubal kr dhoop me sukha kr,
papr jesa krunchi hone k baad khaya jae to

Husband to Hotel Manager:

Husband to Hotel Manager:
"Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar
jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband: "Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

ek pagal dusere se:- yaar tuzhe

ek pagal dusere se:- yaar tuzhe
pata hai bharat or hindustan ke
beach jang chid gaye hai
dusra pagal:- tu chinta kyu karta hai be...
hum to india mein rahete hai.......

Yaar tumne ye baat sab ko Q batai,

Yaar tumne ye baat sab ko Q batai,
Maine tumhe apna samaj ke
batai thi or tumne sab ko bata di
tumne mera bharosa tod diya sab
ko Q bataya ki Mai Bahut sweet hoon.

Ek Raat light chali gayi

Ek Raat light chali gayi
SANTA:Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,
banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?
pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj jayegi.

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.
Boy-Ghabrakar,Sir,such keh raha hoon maine nahi toda.
Principal-Master Sahab!aap kya padha rahe hain bachon ko.
Master-Sir!ye theek kah raha hai,isne dhanush nahi toda.
Ye to kal school hi nahi aaya tha.

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